Author Topic: 🎃 Spooktacular Lottery - Win Up To 500 🎃  (Read 3957 times)

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Online Texas Pete

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Offline Spark Plug

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Re: 99 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall
« Reply #20 on: May 27, 2019, 01:43:44 pm »

Offline Spark Plug

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Re: 99 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall
« Reply #21 on: May 27, 2019, 02:15:37 pm »
A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place:

Man: What's the problem officer?

Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.

Man: No sir, I was going 65.

Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.)

Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.

Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!

Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.)

Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.

Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.

Wife: Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt.

Man: Shut your mouth, woman!

Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way?

Wife: No, only when he's drunk.

Offline Spark Plug

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Offline JD Bouncer

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Re: 99 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall
« Reply #24 on: May 27, 2019, 03:20:11 pm »
Three guys were sitting in a biker bar. A man came in, already drunk, sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. The man looked around and saw the 3 men sitting at a corner table. He got up, staggered to the table, leaned over, looked the biggest one in the face and said, "I went by your grandma's house and I saw her in the hallway, buck naked. Man, she is fine!"

The biker looked at him and didn't say a word. His buddies were confused,because he was a bad ass, and would fight at a drop of a hat. The drunk leaned on the table again and said, "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!"

The biker still said nothing. His buddies were starting to get mad. The drunk leaned on the table again and said, "I'll tell you something else boy, your grandma liked it!"

The biker stood up, took the drunk by the shoulder and said, "Damn it, Grandpa, you're drunk! Go home!"

Online Texas Pete

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