Author Topic: Daily Jokes, just for Laughs 🤭  (Read 373 times)

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Online El Payaso

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Re: Daily Jokes, just for Laughs 🤭
« Reply #36 on: September 26, 2020, 12:20:52 pm »
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Life is so brief, and time is a thief.
Like a fistful of sand, it will slip right through your hand.

Online Texas Pete

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Re: Daily Jokes, just for Laughs 🤭
« Reply #37 on: September 26, 2020, 04:26:59 pm »
Son: “Dad, I have an imaginary girlfriend!”
Dad: “You know you can do better.”

Son: “Oh! Thanks Dad, that means a lot.”

Dad: “I was talking to your girlfriend.”

Online Texas Pete

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Re: Daily Jokes, just for Laughs 🤭
« Reply #38 on: September 27, 2020, 02:07:53 pm »
This is Blue Bird!

At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old football players aside and asked, “Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

“Do you understand that what matters is not whether we win or lose, but how we play together as a team?”

The little boy nodded yes.

“So,” the coach continued, “I’m sure you know, when a penalty is called, you shouldn’t argue, curse, attack the referee, or call him a pecker-head.”

Do you understand all that?”

Again the little boy nodded.

He continued, “And when I call you off the field so that another boy gets a chance to play, it’s not good sportsmanship to call your coach ‘a dumb a–hole’, is it?”

Again the little boy nodded.

“Good,” said the coach. “Now go over there and explain all that to your mother.”

Online El Payaso

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Re: Daily Jokes, just for Laughs 🤭
« Reply #39 on: September 27, 2020, 02:46:24 pm »
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Life is so brief, and time is a thief.
Like a fistful of sand, it will slip right through your hand.

Offline Jemima721

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Re: Daily Jokes, just for Laughs 🤭
« Reply #40 on: September 28, 2020, 05:15:54 am »
Why do blondes stare at orange juice containers for hours on end?
Because they say “concentrate.”
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Online Texas Pete

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Re: Daily Jokes, just for Laughs 🤭
« Reply #41 on: September 28, 2020, 07:22:16 pm »
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.

Online El Payaso

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Re: Daily Jokes, just for Laughs 🤭
« Reply #42 on: October 01, 2020, 05:36:01 pm »
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Life is so brief, and time is a thief.
Like a fistful of sand, it will slip right through your hand.

Online Texas Pete

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Re: Daily Jokes, just for Laughs 🤭
« Reply #43 on: October 02, 2020, 08:03:40 pm »
What do you call a haunted pair of breasts?

BoOoOoOoOobs!

Online El Payaso

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Re: Daily Jokes, just for Laughs 🤭
« Reply #44 on: October 04, 2020, 03:43:48 pm »
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Life is so brief, and time is a thief.
Like a fistful of sand, it will slip right through your hand.

Online Texas Pete

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Re: Daily Jokes, just for Laughs 🤭
« Reply #45 on: October 08, 2020, 08:20:19 am »

Online Papa Smurf

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Re: Daily Jokes, just for Laughs 🤭
« Reply #46 on: October 08, 2020, 02:44:00 pm »
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Online El Payaso

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Re: Daily Jokes, just for Laughs 🤭
« Reply #47 on: October 08, 2020, 03:43:21 pm »
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Life is so brief, and time is a thief.
Like a fistful of sand, it will slip right through your hand.

Online Texas Pete

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Re: Daily Jokes, just for Laughs 🤭
« Reply #48 on: October 11, 2020, 08:46:45 am »
The Senility An elderly couple who were childhood sweethearts had married and settled down in their old neighborhood. To celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary, they walked down to their old school. There, they held hands as they found the desk they shared and where he'd carved "I love you, Sally". On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car practically at their feet. She quickly picked it up, but they didn't know what to do with it, so they took it home. There, she counted the money - it was $50,000! The husband said: "We've got to give it back". "Finders keepers!" his wife said, and put the money back in the bag and hid it up in their attic. The next day, two FBI men who were going from door-to-door in the neighborhood looking for the money showed up at their home. One knocked on the door and said: "Pardon me, but did either of you find any money that fell out of an armored car yesterday?" "No." She said. The husband said: "She's lying. She hid it up in the attic." She said: "Don't believe him, he's getting senile," but the agents sat the man down and began to question him. One said: "Tell us the story from the beginning." The old man said: "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday ..." At this, the FBI guy looked at his partner and said: "We're outta here!"


Online El Payaso

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Re: Daily Jokes, just for Laughs 🤭
« Reply #49 on: October 12, 2020, 11:06:30 am »
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Life is so brief, and time is a thief.
Like a fistful of sand, it will slip right through your hand.

Online Texas Pete

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Re: Daily Jokes, just for Laughs 🤭
« Reply #50 on: October 19, 2020, 08:01:36 am »
My boss asked me, “Why do you break out in a rash every time I give you your paycheck?”
I said, “Because I’m allergic to peanuts.”

Online El Payaso

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Re: Daily Jokes, just for Laughs 🤭
« Reply #51 on: October 19, 2020, 03:28:46 pm »
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Life is so brief, and time is a thief.
Like a fistful of sand, it will slip right through your hand.

Online Texas Pete

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Re: Daily Jokes, just for Laughs 🤭
« Reply #52 on: October 21, 2020, 07:54:14 am »
An old cowboy walks into the barbershop for a shave and a haircut and he tells the barber he can’t get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.
The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old cowboy to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.

When he’s finished, the old cowboy tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he’s had in years.

But he wanted to know what would have happened if he had swallowed that little ball.

The barber replied, “Just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does.”
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Online El Payaso

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Re: Daily Jokes, just for Laughs 🤭
« Reply #53 on: October 21, 2020, 03:24:40 pm »
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Life is so brief, and time is a thief.
Like a fistful of sand, it will slip right through your hand.