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I am starting to get a few white hairs in my beard.  I won't be gray.  I'll be white.

MY BEARD AND MY HAIR ARE ALREADY WHITE. GOT PLENTY OF IT THOUGH. THEY ALWAYS ASK ME IF I HAVE ALL MY TEETH WHEN I GO TO THE HOSPITAL THEY SEEM VAGUELY DISAPPOINTED WHEN I TELL THEM I DO. THEN THE INSURANCE COMPANY ASKS THEM TO ASK ME IF I AM BEING ABUSED
... OR SHOULD I BE SAYING IF I AM BEING THE VICTIM OF ELDER ABUSE. I TOLD HIM MY BUDDIES MR SMITH AND MR WESSON WON'T ALLOW THAT.